Tekkenfan Magazine
by Lorielen
Summary: A magazine interviews Jin and Hwoarang. *Together*. (no slash people, this is PG rated remember??)


Disclaimer: don't owe Hwoarang (though I *really* wish I did), Jin, or any other character related to the games Tekken 3 and TTT. They're property of Namco and any other nice company that we should all thank for bringing a little sunshine into our lives. I'm making no money out of this, so don't sue ok? There's another surprise character that will show up at the fic, and I don't owe him/her either.  
Rating: PG  
Summary: A magazine interviews Jin and Hwoarang. *Together*.  
Author's notes: Tell me what you think, my e-mail is blood_taloness@hotmail.com. Feel free to complain, compliment, cry, or whatever. And now...  
  
Tekkenfan Magazine #1 - Jin and Hwoarang - by Pris Kirshten  
  
(The scene: a studio with 3 armchairs on it and a small round coffee table. At one of the armchairs is sitting the interviewer, and on the others are Jin Kazama and the youth known as the Blood Talon. The Interviewer cleans his throat and starts.)  
  
Int: Ahem, hello, first of all I wanted to thank the two of you for coming here and...  
  
Jin: No need for that, we're both very glad to be here.  
  
Hwo: Speak for yourself, Kazama.   
  
Int: I also wanted to start this by asking you, Hwoarang, why have you agreed to come.  
  
Hwo: It's Blood Talon for you, if you want to live long enough to see the next dawn. But, anyway, I had to give my fans a chance to see my handsome face.  
  
(Both the interviewer and Jin have huge sweatdrops on their heads, anime-like.)  
  
Jin: Hey, wait a sec, why does he get to be asked things first?  
  
Hwo: 'Cuz I look better than you do.  
  
Jin: (thinks a bit) So why am I the main character? Ha!  
  
Hwo: (as if he was talking to a retard) 'Cuz the half-bald old man is YOUR grandpa and not mine.  
  
Jin: Don't you insult my family, you... you... loser!  
  
Hwo: (cooly) Never lost a fight, hedgehog head.  
  
Jin: To me, moron.  
  
Hwo: (stands up) That was a *DRAWN*!!!  
  
Int: Uh, seat down please gentleman... but that kind of leads to something that I was going to ask... what really happened that day?  
  
Jin: Well, it was a though match for both parts and...  
  
Hwo: Ha, you wish! I was just tired from beating up ALL of your company!  
  
Jin: Yeah right, you lame excuse for a fighter! I could beat you here and now!  
  
Hwo: What would you do, use your hair gel attack on me, "Fatal thundershock"!   
  
*AN. This will ring a bell if you ever heard of pokémon. If you didn't, what planet do you live in? Uh, anyway, it's the name of Pikachu's main attack.*  
  
Jin: You false redhead! What the...  
  
Int: Hey, easy there guys... I was going to ask that to both of you too anyway. What do your names really mean? You first this time, Jin.  
  
Jin: Mine means "Fatal LIGHTENING", witch actually means that I can fry him. (looking at Hwoarang, who doesn't seem at all affected by his remark.)  
  
Int: Hum... nice name... and yours, Hwoar, er, Blood Talon?  
  
Hwo: My name means (makes a dramatic pause) "Flowering Manhood".  
  
(At that point the interviewer's face turned as red as Hwoarang's hair and he put a hand in front of his mouth, obviously hiding the fact that he wants to laugh. Jin, on the other side, was now on the floor laughing hysterically and pounding his fists against the carpet.)  
  
Hwo: (sounding *very* angry) What?!  
  
Jin: You... hee hee... (He could barely speak and there were tears on his eyes) You're called "Flowering Manhood"? (Bursts out laughing, then continues) Who'd thought of such a name? I must admit that it suits you perfectly!  
  
Hwo: Are you trying to imply that I'm gay?! (He stands to his full height)  
  
Jin: No implying, I'm crying out loud! (He too stands up)  
  
Hwo: Why you wuss... (Stops suddenly as if he had realized something, then smiles.) You're shorter than I am! Ha!  
  
Jin: Am not!  
  
Int: (between giggles) Actually you are. Your height is stated as 180cm and the Blood Talon's as 181cm.   
  
Jin: But I look so much taller...  
  
Hwo: It's because of your hair, asshole!  
  
Jin: That's asshole to you!  
  
Int: Calm down please... sit here bo- (notice the angry faces of both the youth) uh, fellas. We've still got many questions to go. Hum, the next one is yours, Blood Talon. What does the symbol on the back of your jacket mean?  
  
Hwo: It's the name of my master, Baek Doo San, the man who kicks the most ass besides me of course. That jacket means a lot to me and...  
  
Jin: (mumbles) you've had id since your clothing used to be 3 sizes smaller.  
  
Hwo: Oh shut up, at least I *have* a jacket! (he looks at Jin, who has his cool-cool fire pants on.)  
  
Jin: I ain't wearing a shirt because I couldn't find one to match with these pants! Plus, I look good this way, I've got *muscles*...  
  
Hwo: (offended) I've got 'em too, but I'm a normal person, I don't take any steroids... oh wait a sec, maybe it's a side effect of your hair gel!  
  
Jin: And maybe you not having any is a side effect of your red hair bleach!  
  
Int: Easy there, and you got it Jin, I was just about to ask it, is your hair really red?  
  
Hwo: Of course, look at my eyebrows!  
  
Jin: They're easy to die... is the hair on your balls red too?  
  
Hwo: Dunno. It's the hair on your balls spiky too?  
  
Jin: (mumbles) Damn it, I never win...  
  
Int: Hey, this fic is *still* rated PG, so keep it cool boys! (turns to Jin) Well, that clothing subject led us to something interesting. We've been doing a pool, about which one of you had the cooler wardrobe.  
  
Jin: And of course I won. My style pants can beat that old kimono of his any day of the week.  
  
Hwo: Shut the hell up! You of all the people should know about things that hold sentimental value, Mr. I-miss-my-parents-they-died-early-and-left-me-no-shirt!! (tries to smack Jin's head but hurts his hand on the Japanese's hair.) Oww!!  
  
Jin: Hee hee... ^_^  
  
Int: ANYWAY, I was talking about the pool...  
  
Jin: Yes yes who won it?  
  
Int: Panda did.  
  
Jin: But... but... it wasn't even on the list!  
  
Hwo: Yeah, and it doesn't wear any clothes at all!  
  
Int: I guess all of yours must be pretty bad then. (both Hwoarang and Jin give him a deadly glares and clench their teeth.) Uh, let's move on to another question... What would each one of you do if you won the Iron Fist Tournament?   
  
Hwo: Haven't you watched our creepy ending-movies? Man, you must suck big time on Tekken! Anyway, I was about to complain about that movie. Yes I'd throw Heihachi's half-bald head on the water, but I'd NEVER save Kazama's damn ass! I'd just ask for one of the automatics and shoot him between those weird strings of hair on his ugly tattooed forehead!  
  
Int: Uh, right, what about you Jin?  
  
Jin: I also want to hold a protest. After I morphed on that thing I'd never run away, I'd fly and kick some Korean butt for good! And, have any of you ever noticed that besides the tattoo on my forehead, my hair also changes when I get the wings?  
  
(The interviewer has a huge sweatdrop on his head by now.)  
  
Hwo: That's because they know that ANY other living creature, even a copy of your sorry ass, would never wear this hedgehog hair of yours! Ha!  
  
(The interviewer is laughing by now, and Jin looks pretty angry.)  
  
Hwo: Hey pretty boy why don't you try to hit me? Ain't ready to fry me with your *thudershock* just yet?  
  
Jin: Nope. Just afraid you'll use the move you named after a pink waterbird on me.  
  
Hwo: If you think my flamingo stance is funny, wait until you see how funny your face will look when I use it to beat you ugly being to a pulp!  
  
Jin: (sarcastically) Oh I'm freaked to death! (Now seriously) You'll be damn sorry when I'm finished!  
  
Hwo: Yeah right! What you gonna do, use your lesbian attack on me?  
  
Jin: (not quite understanding, but guessing that he must have been insulted) WHAT?!  
  
Int: Hold it boys... (turns to the door) Hey, who are you?  
  
(Both Jin and Hwoarang stop arguing long enough for the camera to focus on the door and we see... yes! Link, from Zelda!)  
  
Link: Uh... is this study four?  
  
Int: No, it's the 7, who are you?  
  
Hwo: Yeah, I mean, what's happened to your ears kid?  
  
Lin: (enraged) First you tell me what's happened to your hair!  
  
Jin: Ha!  
  
Link: (turns to Jin) Oh shut up, you're a fine one to talk about hair!  
  
Hwo: I'm *so* gonna kill the brat...  
  
Jin: No you're not, it's not right to hit children.  
  
Hwo: Guess I can't kiss your lily ass either then.  
  
Link: Yeah!  
  
Jin: Like you ever could!  
  
Link: Yeah!  
  
Hwo: Enough, let me beat the twerp first and then we fight, ok? Promise I won't take long.  
  
Link: Ye- (stands thoughtful for a moment) TWERP?   
  
Hwo: Brat, twerp, puny excuse for a game hero!  
  
Link: That does it!   
  
(Link zaps Hwoarang with his Din's fire)  
  
Hwo: Oww.  
  
Int: Who are you? Give me an autograph? Man, you made those two stop fighting!!  
  
Jin: Hey, I was the one supposed to beat him!  
  
Hwo: (shakes all the cinders out of his body) You wish Kazama!  
  
Jin: Can't you see that he's insulting us?  
  
Hwo: Yup. Let's show them why is Tekken a fighting game.  
  
(Jin and Hwoarang beat the interviewer and Link to a pulp)  
  
Hwo: Now we can go back to our bickering.  
  
Unknown voice: No you can't!  
  
(The author jumps inside the fic)  
  
Pris: Enough with your fighting! The reader is going to freak!  
  
Jin: And how do you intend to stop us? You're a girl!  
  
Pris: (enraged) THAT DOES IT!!!! (pulls out a huge automatic from her back pocket)  
  
Hwo: Hey, looking from here you're cute. Wanna go out with me?  
  
Pris: (throwing the gun away) Sure! (Takes his hand and they start to walk away)  
  
Jin: Hey, what about me?  
  
Pris: Wait a sec. (walks off, then comes back with the other webmistress, Pri, by her hand) Pri, this is Jin Kazama.  
  
Pri: (-_-*) Yeah I know, I was addicted to him.  
  
Hwo: Plus, there's no way she could have his hair mistaken!  
  
Jin: What's your damn problem with my hair, you've been talking about it all fic long!  
  
Pris: He's got no problem with your hair, but I do, and as I'm the one writing the story here... Hum, hold on a sec, that reminds me of something that is missing on the fic.  
  
The End  
  
(silence)  
  
Link: Damn it, why did I get no woman? As if Zelda dumping me wasn't bad enough! I should be the one who gets most girls, because I'm handsome, worderful, powerful, strong, mascule and perfect... oh, I forgot that I'm also modest!  
  
Pris, Pri, Hwo & Jin: SHUT UP YOU MORON!!! Haven't you realized that the story has already ended?!  
  
Link: Of course, to give it a golden ending I had to participate on it!  
  
(All of the remaining people smack Link's head)  
  
Link: Owie...  
  
Pris: Serves you right! And now...  
  
The End (or at least we hope so...)  
  
Like it? Hate it? Mail me! I accept anything, except people complaining about my picking up on Jin's hairdo. If it isn't your case, drop me a line at blood_taloness@hotmail.com  



End file.
